The Happening sucks: An early review of M. Night Shyamalan’s new movie says it terrible.
However, like all of you, I hated “Lady in the Water.” It’s not just bad…it’s terrible. It’s the only film in his catalogue I can’t stand and I think it’s a huge mess of a film. That being said, I figured he’d learned his lesson and was sharpening his knives for an assault this summer on audiences with his new movie “The Happening.” But after reading what was sent in, I’m scared he’s come off the rails and M. Night needs a serious intervention.
So continues the tradition of M. Night Shyamalan’s films becoming worse and worse with each iteration.
Iron Man over Chronicles of Narnia: Can a man in an iron suit conquer a wardrobe and a talking lion? Hell yes it can. I think?
Sponsor Lindsay Lohan’s 22nd birthday: Corporate sponsorships for Lindsay’s 22nd are available. Benefits include a gift back which Lindsay Lohan will puke in at the end of the night.
Britney isn’t pregnant, just fat: I thought that was pretty obvious.
Paris Hilton, realizing her best friend Nicole Richie has beat her to the punch many times this past year, told PEOPLE that she wants a piece of that publicity pie to marry Benji Madden.
“He wants to [get hitched],” she told PEOPLE Thursday night at London’s Nobu, where she showed up for a late-night snack with Madden and her parents. “We talk about it.”
“I’d wear a beautiful white dress,” she said dreamily, “probably Dolce & Gabbana.”
I hope everything goes wrong for this whore’s wedding. I would be forever grateful to the gods if Paris spills wine on her dress five minutes before and a bunch of minorities show up unannounced because something tells me she doesn’t have a high regard for them.
An old college buddy of Tony Romo told the Chicago Sun-Times that Tony’s breakup with Jessica Simpson was caused by a combination of not wanting to deal with the intense media scrutiny that comes with being Jessica’s boyfriend and being freaked out by Jessica’s dad Joe who started offering unsolicited career advice. Not mentioned is Tony feeling uncomfortable whenever Joe gave him his come hither eyes.
In addition, Romo’s friend said the talented QB has been put off by the intrusive style of Joe Simpson, who’s been ”not only telling Jessica every move to make, but now has begun to offer unsolicited advice to Tony on his career, endorsement opportunities and things that have nothing to do with him dating Jessica.”
Furthermore, Romo reportedly was very upset by Simpson’s interview in Glamour magazine where she referred to Romo as her ”future husband” and other on-the-record interviews she has given, saying she wants Romo to be the father to her children.
Furthermore, Us Weekly reports that even though Jessica and Tony are done, Joe is begging Tony to accompany Jessica tomorrow to Ashlee’s wedding. Romo seems to have relented and is flying into L.A. this weekend.
Meanwhile, Ashlee’s house is currently being set up with white tents for Saturday’s nuptials. Pete Wentz is said to be ecstatic with his choice of floral arrangements and has stated that the coconut wedding cake is “to die for.” Pete then merrily skipped away to double check the seating arrangements. What a gaywad.
The California Supreme Court announced yesterday that they were lifting the ban on gay marriages. Following this historical announcement, Ellen DeGeneres wanted everyone to notice her so she announced on her show that she’s marrying Portia de Rossi.
Just last week, Ellen told Star that Portia is “a great partner. And I mean that in every area. She is fun to hang out with, fun to talk to, fun to travel with. We’re going to Europe this summer for a few weeks. It’s our first time there together, and we’re very excited.”
Unfortunately for you, still banned in California are marriages to your dollies. Maybe you and Barbie were never meant to be together. You god damn weirdo.
